S1E6 - You Are So Pregnant Dude

This week's episode starts out with Kourtney saying that she's been feeling nauseous a lot recently. Hmm, if a woman on TV says she feels nauseous it always means one thing, they're pregnant. I wonder why in TV Land concepts like "gas station egg salad sandwich" or "Played a game of Edward 40 Hands with malt liquor last night" don't seem to exist. Khloé asks Kourtney if she's been using protection and Kourtney says that she's on the pill but always forgets to take it. Khloé and Kourtney go out to buy the world's biggest bag of pregnancy tests.

 Because anything that's worth doing, is worth overdoing. The test is somewhat inconclusive displaying one and a half lines instead of clearly one or two. Khloé still exclaims that Kourtney is pregnant. Kourtney decides to call Scott over so that she can tell him the news. She calls from a wall mounted corded phone in the bathroom. Rich people have strange things. Kendall and Kylie are looking at cute puppies on a sweet 2007 iMac. Kendall goes to Bruce and with her best "I want something from you" voice asks him for a puppy. Bruce says that they already have a dog, but Kendall laments that it's the family dog not hers. Bruce says that if Kendall gets a dog he'll end up having to take care of it and "clean up the poopies". Ironically enough, I'm pretty sure in like season 9 or something Kim ends up cleaning up Kendall's dogs poopies instead. Bruce puts his foot down and says "no more dogs!". At this point I fully expected a Gilligan cut to Kendall ecstatic with her new puppy, but instead Scott arrives at  the house. Khloé and Kourtney explain the results of the pregnancy test to Scott and he seems pretty okay with everything. Ahh now we're back to Kendall looking at puppies online with Kris, gotta love the old "dad said no, so go ask mom instead" plan! I also noticed Kendall using her mouse with her left hand so I looked it up, Kendall and Kylie aren't left handed but Caitlyn is. Kris agrees to go to the pet shop but only to look. As an adult I can say that means that Kris knows damn well they'll be buying one as an adult would never agree to bring their kids "just to look" if they didn't have any intention of buying one. This also brings up one of those weird differences from just 10 years ago, I feel like buying a pet from a pet shop is so looked down upon now instead of getting one from a shelter, you wouldn't see that anymore. Of course after about 1 minute Kris relents and allows them to get the puppy, but they decide to hide it from Bruce (because the let's hide X from Bruce game always works out so well)

Kourtney and Scott head to her doctor's office to take a more serious pregnancy test. Kourtney finds out that she's not pregnant (I'm shocked, I thought this would be where Mason made his first appearance!) and Scott immediately blurts out "THANK GOD!!!" with a look of total relief, he quickly recovers though and says "well not thank God but..." The call up Khloé to which Khloé replies that they should go to Vegas to get WASTED! Girl, didn't you get nailed for DUI like last week, maybe you should cool it a bit. Kim makes her first appearance at this point over 8 minutes into the episode! This reminds me of how there would be early Family Matters episodes that would barely have Urkel in them. Everyone is super excited to go to Vegas, Kris gets so excited that she falls off the edge of the couch. They're apparently going to be taking one of those dope party buses to Vegas. The only part I don't get is that they say it will take 6 hours. Virgin America will get you from LA to Vegas in 1 hour and they give out free beer and wine on that flight even in coach. They mention the bus not having a bathroom, so naturally Kris won't stop talking about how much she has to pee. Khloé laments being stuck on the bus with "The Urinator" which would be a terrible superhero name. Never change Koko, never change.

Back in Calabasas, Kendall has to hide her new puppy before Bruce comes in to her room. Back on the party bus, Kris - "The Urinator" - Jenner has them stop at a truck stop so that she can pop a squat and pee behind some Jersey barriers. They finally arrive in Vegas at The Palms. The Palms isn't the best casino, it's located a few blocks away from the strip, so they must have had some type of paid appearance there. Everyone is having a great time at the club there but Kourtney and Scott sneak off for some alone time. Scott brings up the idea of marriage. The next morning Kourtney asks Scott if he still feels like he did last night and he says that he does. Kourtney admits that her and Scott ...utilized the Jacuzzi the previous night so now nobody else can use it. That's hilarious! The family, especially Kris, are none to happy about Kourtney's plans to marry Scott that very day in Vegas. The go to the Little White Wedding Chapel and suddenly Kourtney is getting extremely cold feet.

Kris calls Bruce as she doesn't know what to do about the wedding and Bruce advises her to stop it. Kris tells Kourtney that this whole thing feels wrong. Kourtney agrees that everything is way too rushed. In the background Rob is wearing a fedora. In real life it's been reported that Rob has been getting close with Lindsay Lohan lately. I'm not sure which of those things is more disturbing. Kourtney and Scott decide not to get married that day. Back in Calabasas Bruce walks in and catches Kendall red handed with her cute little puppy Bella. Bruce says "after I said no?" and Kendall says "Mommy let me get her!" way to throw your mom under the bus Kendall! Predictably Bella poops all over the floor.

I'd have to give this episode a 2/10. Nothing actually happened, Kourtney was going to be pregnant... and then she wasn't. Kourtney was going to get married... and then she wasn't. I honestly think this is one of the most boring episodes of KUWTK. The only reason I gave it an extra point was because Kendall's new puppy was cute.

Oh and my Calabasas hat from Kanye's webstore that I mentioned a few posts back finally came in after like 2 months.